Restaurant Wars

All great restaurants are built on a single menu item that drives their patron's crazy. McDonald's has that classic Big Mac, Olive Garden has the best salad and breadsticks this side of Italy itself and The Cheesecake Factory is nothing without that fried macaroni (and of course... cheesecake). Now I never fancied myself a restaurateur, until today. Just when I thought I wasn't going to have a breakthrough today, I had the epiphany of a lifetime: I came up with a signature dessert for my restaurant! A Champagne Float!

Simply scoop some rainbow sherbet into a glass and top with champagne. Honestly, eating this delectable treat was like walking on a cloud with the man himself... so good. People will come from near and far, make reservations and stand in line with those buzzing light up things for up to 25 minutes in order to rush through their meal and have one of these soon to be famous treats that they could easily make at home but will swear it tastes better at Mark's Restaurant (the name of the establishment is for a later brainstorm). I can already see the line extension. This time next year, drinkers, prayers, and lovers, I will be sitting on a cash cow shaped like your neighborhood restaurant, only better... mine will have Champagne Floats!

So Let It Be Written:

So a couple of days ago, I was attempting to coin a new phrase. I was going out on a Tuesday and thought to myself, we have Thirsty Thursday-Sunday Funday covered. If you go out on a Monday, hopefully its to your local AA chapter, but what about Tuesday? This oft forgotten day of revelry deserves its own Bacchus inspired nickname. And what did I come up with? Tuesday Boozeday. So let it be written, so let it be done.

No one said that Tuesday had to be the ugly stepchild of the rest of the week. Sure, it's pretty clear that Friday and Saturday nights still reign supreme to this drink-pray-lover, but if my quest is to get married AND learn how to dougie before the Zombies take over in 11 and a half months, we're going to have to pull in some serious overtime.

My meditations have taken me near and far, folks, and the heart o' the matter is Tuesdays have been ridiculed and forgotten for far to long. The buck stops here. Happy weekend, drinkers, prayers and lovers. Until next time.

The "Hi" in Hiatus

Its been twelve days since my last major breakthrough and post... you see, when I don't meditate and drink and search for love, I have nothing to really write about (at least on this site. I spend 50% of my day writing other mundane things). But this afternoon, I realized, the reason I haven't updated isn't because I have nothing going on... on the contrary, the reason I haven't updated is because I'm actually doing things. Just the other day, I took a huge step in the right direction of my career as a Hollywood startlett. Whether that step pays off is yet to be seen, but I took it nonetheless. And just a few days before that, I made a pact with a friend of mine over margaritas with salt on the rim (rim, rim, rim, rim) that by the end of the 2011, and presumably the end of the world, both of us would be married... no excuses, no pretense. 2011 is about finding someone to love me... 2012 is about surviving the apocalypse. It's now or never. With my career and my love life making a giant leap so far this year, I simply haven't found time meditate and write about it...

So when you don't hear from me, drinkers, prayers, and lovers, don't assume that I've put the bottle down and checked into Promises Rehab Facility opposite A.J. McLean. On the contrary, I'm living my life... sometimes with bottle in hand. It's going to be a great year, I can feel it already. Until next time. Drink.Pray.Love.

So Resolute.

It's a new year. 2010 is gone and 2011 is here to stay for the next 365 days. As is the case every new year, I'm sure people are filled with a mixture of equal parts anticipation, excitement and nervousness.

I, for one, am not the kind of person to make long lists of resolutions. I think that making New Years resolutions only sets one up for sheer disappointment. Sure you can stick to your diet plan or sleep schedule for so long, but the day you slip into last year's habit, you have to live with the shame of knowing that your entire year is one giant waste. I stopped resolving to do anything back in 2004 and its worked out well for me. Until now.

While meditating over a homemade concoction of Whiskey/Rum with water, I thought to myself, this is the year I change it up. I need a goal for 2011; not one that simply entails chronicling my drinking, self exploration and quest for love on this daily blog, but something a little more meaningful.

And so I resolved in 2011 to: Learn to dougie, become a firework, get my minister's license renewed for another year, watch every single Meryl Streep movie and study the Streep technique, write a Pelican-like brief, take a cosmotology class, and become a firework. If I happen to accomplish all of these goals before 2012, it would have been a great year. If I don't... well we'll see what the Mayans have to say about that. Happy New Years. Drink.Pray.Love